It has been too long since I last painted:

I'm feeling very creative today; like maybe I can make my own luck.

I fell in love during this encore:

For some reason I can't listen to KC Accidental while driving without getting the uncontrollable urge to crash myself into oncoming traffic. I can feel the impact. Smell the burning rubber. It's weird, I guess. I explained it to someone once before who echoed my sentiment. We reasoned that the song just has so much... life. Listening to it is realizing that this is exactly what I want my life to sound like. Each breath should be like every single chord. I can't explain it really. It just needs to be listened to. I tried explaining this to Emily once, she gave me a look like I was crazy. She also once said, "I really hope that someday you find a guy who is just as weird as you."

I like that. I hope so, too.

FEBUARY 26TH

Dear God, I'm already planning the housewarming party.

plans;

"No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close. "
Chuck Palahniuk

I'm going to be social this week. Change of pace, believe me. Show Wednesday: guaranteed to be uncomfortable, but I need a good reason to wear a dress. Company this weekend? Perhaps. Show Monday: I need a lot of luck for this one, and a very, very special dress.

Following that, 4 more days until I'm back in Florida. I want to be happy about my 10-day vacation, but it's making me anxious. I just want time to fly, because the sooner I can get out of Pittsburgh, the better. Even though I've realized that by changing my location, my undealt problems are still going to follow. I need a self-makeover, followed by some re-prioritzing. I' plan to rent "Bridget Jones' Diary" and take notes.

life:

I'll take an ice-cream cone over human company any day.

1.2.3.4.

I am obsessed with making lists. I can't stop. to-do's, top tens, favorite anythings. I have become utterly OCD about categorizing my wants, needs, haves and likes. I'm afraid that if I disappear suddenly, all that will be left of me are these scratchy scribbles of all the things I've completed; and whats worse, all the things that have yet to be crossed out. I desperately need something to take my mind off of these strange transfixtions (not a word). I need someone to cuddle with before I lose my mind.