Everything seems to be cyclic, because I keep finding myself in the same situations as years past. Is this redundancy an error on my part? I think it must be.

Why do I keep wanting things I know I'll never have.

The universe tells me one thing for sure, some people are meant to be alone and I am one of those people. I will never truly be myself in a relationship, I will never be someones other half. I can never give myself completely to another person without punishing them for it later. I am forever difficult.

I'm afraid I'll be alone forever. Then a part of me feels weak and foolish for being afraid, and wills me to accept it gracefully.

Even if I am a bit wounded, I guess I wouldn't take it back. That is the sadist in me talking, always looking for ways to hurt myself.