my new passion is;

molecular gastronomy.

meticulous

You know, ever since middle school people have been making fun of the way I talk. Not only because I talk so fast, but because of the excessive amount of big words, quirky phrases, and odd little things I seem to say. In High School, since I had no social life, I would spend my time watching the Discovery channel and memorizing SAT words. I'm mentioning this only because it is a certain quality I love about myself. What I lack in poise, confidence and grace I make up for with an excellent vernacular. I also hate when people use AIM expressions, a simple "lol" is the absolute kiss of death of a friendship for me.

loner, dottie. a rebel.

Texas is hot. I love it here. Not only because seeing Jordan and his grandma keep me in a constant state of joy, but also because I just like taking a break from my actual life to be somewhere else for awhile. Things I'd like to accomplish this trip are making another award-winning dinner, enjoying the brief stint of having a social life again, and hopefully get to the basement in the alamo. (no one thinks that joke is funny). I met some interesting people last night, found most of them quite charming. I need to be reminded that there are still pleasant people in the world (Pittsburgh has made me forget this) and I shouldn't become a total recluse just yet. Even though its true that I would rather have my way with a few kitchen utensils and a well-stocked pantry than go on a date with someone most likely to bore me, or hang out with an excessive amount of people, I am really trying to fight being a hermit. I've decided I'm going to be single forever, but do it happily. I've also decided (rather ill-logically perhaps) that if I dedicate my efforts to making other people happy, then maybe I will stay that way too. You know, through osmosis or some jazz.

pretty witty

I'm disappointed in my current state of desperation. At this point, I would give anything just to feel close to another human being. Physically, Emotionally; anything.

digitals

"People say the eyes are the windows to the soul. bullshit. It's the hands."
-Robert De Niro; Great Expectations

How true. Re-watching one of my top-10 favorite movies today (depsite a terrible ending). But I love this line. Mostly because I love my hands. you know why? They are hideous. Flour makes them dry and coarse, cracked and bloody around the cuticle. Burns from ovens, pans, cookie sheets and cake trays run along my forearm all the way to the elbow. And I love it, I'm so proud. every scar, every line like a roadmap from where I've come.

damaged goods.

I don't like this person; want to be somebody else. taller, less clumsy. I'm losing my will to articulate. ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

recurring theme:

my life is defined by the fact that no one else thinks my jokes are funny.
Current feelings? view photo.

overwhelmed

today I was too lazy to clean, I just febreezed everything. I pulled my laundry out of the dryer, and instead of going to iron it, I just climbed into my laundry basket while it was still warm and listened to Sun Kil Moon on repeat. I'm overwhelmed. I'm over it.

moving on up.

I think I ripped this page out of "Oh, The Places you'll Go" a couple years ago and stashed it in my miscellaneous box. (yes, I have a miscellaneous box. Quite full, actually) I'm sure I had plans to mail it to someone with an encouraging note and maybe a bag of cookies. But oddly enough, upon finding it, I just felt encouraged myself. I know that life in Pittsburgh is for the birds, but I will be done here sooner than I can imagine, and then I'll be able to move and work doing what I love. Never you mind that I will be in debt because of the cost of such happiness, it might be worth it. Actually, it will be worth it. I just want to make my parents proud of me. Once my dad says that, I can go back to being a slacker and just sleep and paint all day - but until then, I just have to keep working harder than I've ever imagined.

;my biography:

I expect so much from people; and am ,therefore, constantly disappointed. I'm beginning to seriously doubt that there is anyone else like me in the world. I'm a giver, and can never [will never] cross over to being a taker.

latest impulse buy:

I've been feeling miserable lately because of my living situation. If I wasn't tied down by school here, I'd have packed up and shipped out long ago, but I have to survive for another year. Luckily, my woes are easily alieviated by buying myself kitchen appliances. Hello, new ice cream maker. So yeah, I know I'm lactose intolerant - but tonight I made myself the most wonderful soy green tea ice cream. I then sandwiched it between 2 vegan gingersnaps. Heaven. It was so wonderful. I enjoyed my creation while watching blockbuster rentals (the best kind of company). It was bittersweet though, because for as much fun as I have by myself, I have significantly less fun knowing I want to share it with someone else.

I hate having roommates. There, I said it.

charming, to say the least