Videos of the Sun

NASA released this video of the sun. It's beautiful but it makes my skin crawl.

Lucid Dreams

Last night I had a dream about a friend of mine. I can't stop thinking about it. Not sexual, just strangely intimate. My dreams are always lucid, and by some kind of tragic irony, I always know that I will wake up soon and that my subconscious moments will be better than real life.

I've been idle. Plagued by everydayness. Sleep paralysis.

Channeling

Need to use this thing again

I've been listening to Rush a lot lately. Staying up/sleeping later than usual. Playing Final Fantasy XIII shamelessly. Eating Kashi GoLean! Crunch as part of my 2 meals a day. Going to the gym... how would you say? Less than frequently. and above all, not caring.

Granted, I've been feeling more motivated than before but I still feel like I am out of reach of being one of those "lucky" people.

Even when I'm happy, I'm sad. But I kind of like it, and I can't help it. Surely I'm not the only person who has ever felt this way.

"I almost wish we were butterflies and liv'd but three summer days--three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain."

"I have two luxuries to brood over in my walks, your loveliness and the hour of my death; that I might have possession of them both in one moment."

"The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head."