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I think the perfect man for me would be very tall and occasionally bearded. He likes horror movies and flannel shirts and reads actual books of which he has actual opinions. He's well liked but doesn't try too hard. He always orders dessert and likes early mornings and never makes fun of me for speaking in hyperboles. He also should not show up for about 2 - 3 years because the last thing I want in my life right now is complication or companionship. There is a serious misconception about misery and company.