dissapointments,

Sometimes I forget that humanity is not worth saving. People are cold, I've never realized that more than I do now. No one has never spoken ill of me as they have tonight, and I don't believe I've ever given anyone a reason too.

For whatever reason, things in my life have taken an odd "sweet and sour" effect. As in, good things are happening, but they are paired and quickly followed with bad things. Bittersweet seems to be the theme of my life right now. Maybe I've gotten irresponsible with my heart, it's true, but I don't deserve this. I really don't deserve this.

I don't think I can trust again. I'm afraid I'll never truly love. Whats worse is I think that is not a matter of circumstance but of choice. I can't deal with people and their bullshit. I turn 20 sooner than I'd like. I want to live the desert island life, but I thrive off companionship and random acts of kindness and I fear without them I can't live. At this point I don't care anymore at all.

I'm supposed to be alone. I am.

"well our luck may have died,
and our love may be cold,
but with you forever I'll stay,
We're going out where the sand is turnin' to gold,
so put on your stockins', baby, cause the nights gettin cold
and everything dies, baby, that's a fact
but maybe everything that dies someday comes back. "