That's what I'm waiting for.

No one in the world knows me as well as I'd like them too.

I realized today that I haven't been kissed the way I want to be kissed in a long time. Maybe it's been years. I also have come to terms with several of my self-sabotaging habits. One being that I cannot allow people to love me. I can only hang on to a crush if I know that it is destined for disaster. If, at any time, I feel as though I might be heading towards something potentially risky, I find a reason why I shouldn't bother. I find a way to discourage myself, and I call it being logical or sensible.

I have to be careful though, because I am a giver. (& I can never, will never, be a taker). I give & give & give. and I need to be sure that I find someone who wont take until I'm empty. that's what I'm mostly afraid of, being empty. I've been feeling that way lately. Panicky, nervous, and alone.


modest mouse: "little motel"